I can’t be in a relationship with you anymore.

You are good for nothing, just a useless person. I don’t know why you exist.

Sharmaji’s son got 97% last year in the board exams, you have to get more than him or else I won’t be able to show my face to anyone.

Dude, you suck. Go get a life. Next time you try to come close to us, we will break your bones.

Jeez, look at her. She is so outdated. My maid has a better fashion sense than her.

Loans have been piling up and I haven’t been able to fulfill my family’s dreams. I am a bad parent.

You may be wondering what all these words are. These are the words are something that push a person to take the extreme step. These are the struggles faced by the youngsters of today’s generations. The struggles to find ones identity, the struggle to impress and keep everyone happy, the struggle of falling in love and heartbreaks, the struggle of family pressure and hidden pasts.

The things or in other words the struggles that a person goes through in his young times can either make him or break him. And these struggles are wonderfully depicted in Sriram Ayer’s latest masterpiece The Story Of A Suicide.

Sriram Ayer beautifully depicts the struggles of its youngsters through different characters named Charu, Sam, Mani, Alex and Hari. The struggles of these four youngsters through the journey of love, romance, sexual encounters, betrayal, deceit, hatred and revenge is explained through the stories in this novel.

This novel is available for free: http://www.storyofasuicide.com/.

This post may contain spoilers. The book is available in audio format as well. Here is a trailer for the same.

The first chapter of the book takes us through the mind of a Hari who is a betrayed homosexual and is writing a suicide note to the world and the readers. The suicide note itself is chilling and heart breaking. It makes you experience the thoughts that wander the minds of the youngsters who think about taking this big step.

In the following chapters we experience the events that have led to Hari to take such an extreme step. Hari comes from a normal middle class family. In his childhood, Hari had been subject to sexual abuse by none other than his uncle. Being afraid of this event, Hari hides this from his family members. This event has left a scar on his mind, a scar that won’t heal.

Years later, Hari discovers that he is attracted to people of the same sex and hides his sexual identity inside the closet. He is afraid that his family won’t accept him if he is gay and the society will shame him. Yes that’s how our society treats homosexuals, as criminals.

Hari falls in love with his college mate Mani, who is also gay. Mani comes from a poor family and has family responsibilities on his head. Mani too has faced a lot of cruelty at the hands of his sadistic father. His mother went through a lot of hardships and Mani’s education and bright future is their only ray of hope. But, Mani gets low grades in his exams because of his poor English and thus unable to accept this fact and face the pressure he tries to commit suicide.

That’s the answer of most of the youngsters now days. Failure=Suicide. I don’t understand why youngsters think suicide is the answer. Life gives you many chances. If one door closes, another one opens up.  We have been associating failure with shame rather than a stepping stone from so many generations that when a person fails he automatically pulls himself out of everything fearing the society.

Back to the story. Mani survives with the help of Charu, Sam and Alex sir. This is where everyone’s life gets entangled. Sam is a tech geek and Hari’s roommate. He has been trying to recreate an app called JARVIS from the movie Iron Man so that he can remotely access anyone’s personal gadget like cell phone or computer.  Sam falls in love with the first sight of Charu. Charu is a bold and confident young woman and a strong character in the story. Sam is just recovering from his past break up with his school friend Priya.

Charu and Sam draw close to each other. However, one misunderstanding makes everyone’s life take a nasty turn. Charu takes to social media to share her feelings and this doesn’t go down well with Sam. He feels humiliated by Charu’s behaviour and thinks she has used and left him for some other person. Unable to get over this, he decides to take revenge. The writer has wonderfully pointed out the truth of today’s generation. Eye for an eye is what we want today but little do we realize that this may turn the whole world blind.

Sam sends across a Trojan through a picture to Charu and when Charu opens up the image the Trojan gets installed in her phone. Sam, now being able to access Charu’s phone, starts harassing her by uploading inappropriate pictures to the internet. Charu takes the help of Alex sir and his detective friend.

Meanwhile, Hari and Mani’s relationship also takes a horrible turn when Mani violently abuses and rapes Hari scratching the wounds of Hari’s past. Somehow, in this Charu-Sam’s mess, this event gets uploaded to the social media and thereby revealing to the world about Hari’s hidden sexuality. Hari who was already in misery slips in further into depression because of these malicious turn of events. His family rejects him and finding no one around him to call his own, he decides to take the step. The step of committing a suicide.

Suicide 01.jpg

The writer brilliantly portrays each and every event through spine chilling and beautifully explained prose’s taking the readers through the extreme up’s and down’s of the characters lives and helping us experience the story as if it has really happened in a parallel universe. This story gets you thinking about today’s reality.  The sad and hidden reality that many of us don’t notice. It’s so funny how in the fight of the first two people, the third person is always at a loss.

Suicide and depression is the biggest problem in most of the youngsters lives. A person who attempts a suicide is looked at in a weird way, like a criminal. Society automatically starts making their own assumptions and start spreading false rumors that only makes things worse. That is the ugly truth about our society and about suicide. Suicide can be prevented if you start thinking about your loved one’s and stopping caring about the society. “Lok kya sochnge!” has destroyed way many lives than any other crime.

Finally someone has spoken up the truth. The truth about hatred towards the LGBT community. The truth about sexual abuse by family members. The truth about shaming a depressed person so much that he/she is forced to commit suicide.

My message to dear youngsters,

“If life gets you down and you find no way out of it, never take the huge step. You may feel there is no one out there to help you but believe me there are many many many people who want to help you. Talk to someone. Anyone. Don’t hide the pain. Let it out. Cry on someone’s shoulders if need be it. Crying doesn’t make you less of man. Just don’t suppress the pain inside till the pain eventually destroys you. Hard times do come in all of our lives but like seasons they pass. There is a time to every purpose under heaven. Hope and faith in yourself and God can help you move the mountains and calm the storm. Just have faith and don’t give up.”

I would recommend everyone to read this Sriram Ayer’s masterpiece. You can click on this link to read it now.